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Let the Crean-ing fire away

So, Indiana University has its coach now, former Marquette coach Tom Crean. In a quick backtrack, Bobby Knight’s run ended in 2000 with controversy, then not many wanted Mike Davis beyond his near .600 win percentage and then Kelvin Sampson couldn’t control his cell phone etiquette.
Amid all the past, let’s look to the future. What better way to do that than predict a few headlines we could possibly see in the next year. It only took a few minutes to come up with a ‘Crean and Crimson’ T-shirt, and the headline writers were already in overdrive last week. Not hard to imagine some potential cheesy headlines of the Crean era. So here we go …
A Crean, Fresh Start
Maybe this story has already passed. Looking at the gloom and doubt since Davis led the team to the NCAA final in 2002, a Crean Fresh Start doesn’t seem too bad. This fresh start may take a while, especially with Eric Gordon going pro, the dismissal of two starters and a total of 17 points per game returning next year. It makes for possibly a scary thought.
Running a Crean Program
The NCAA sanctions come out. I’m not touching this one from a guessing perspective. One thing guaranteed is that Crean will probably lay off the cell phone and three-party calling and get down to coaching and recruiting. In the end, Indiana fans will be pleased to know Tom Crean is their man now, similar to when they thought Kelvin was their guy.
Crean Beginnings
The opening game of the season results in a solid win. The opening win is a start; a nice pounding of an NAIA team in an exhibition gets fans excited. The next few games will be tough. The Maui Invitational will give Crean a quick dose of what he has to look forward to. Teams looming in Maui are in-state rival Notre Dame along with North Carolina, Texas, Alabama and Oregon. Good luck with that introduction and hopefully he doesn’t get ‘Creaned’ in the next headline.
Hoosiers Love Crean Puffs
So now Indiana has the miserable Maui Invitational out of the way. Boy did it suck. Fans start to think creatively in how to bring Gordon back from the NBA. Never fear the loss of a few games early in the season, it will help that RPI in the long run. Crean, used to the the battles of the Big East, reverts to his Conference USA days and schedules cream puffs. Down goes the RPI that seems to mean less and less each year, and up goes the thoughts of, ‘Hey, we might make the big dance.’
A Crean Sweep
The Big Ten finally allows the Hoosiers to play Purdue twice during conference play. And what does the Crean man lead them to? A Crean sweep of the rival Boilermakers. It will probably take a tall task next season to pull this feat off, but if Crean gets it done, what a headline it could make.
Cookies and Crean
The new coach gets introduced to the marketing department and they come up with a brilliant idea. Ice cream. All the major players in the dairy industry along with Emery’s and Culver’s of Corydon throw their names into the mix seeking rights to a new summer flavor : Cookies and Crean. The bidding war results in large sums of endorsement money for the head man, while IU looks for ways to cut back on his base salary. Overall rating on Cookies and Crean? Emeril Lagasse has Crean as a special guest on his show, that is how good it is.
Going Crean
Coach joins the Al Gore bandwagon and makes his players watch ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ after a disappointing home loss. The documentary inspires the youthful Hoosiers to push that all their games be played outdoors to save on lights. They don’t get their way, but they decide that next year they will play a game after the football team hosts a game in November, both to be contested outside. Also, soon as Crean (joined by Gore) stopped the DVD, the entire basketball team changed their majors to geological sciences. Crean is all about academics, another plus. The change benefits the earth, ticket sales and causes a five-game winning streak as well.
Crean and Bear It
Hoosiers sit on the edge of their seats on Selection Sunday. Crean got the team to go 20-12, but they lost in the Big Ten Tournament semi-finals. Digger Phelps has them in while Jay Bilas is making a case that they shouldn’t be there. Midway through the selection process, the Hoosiers hear their name called. In typical selection committee fashion, they are paired up in Chicago, Ill., to play Marquette in the first round. Billy Packer drills the selection committee on this decision, citing how tough it will be on the coach, but they are up to the challenge. Oh yeah, Packer’s also seething because it looks like Indiana knocked Georgia Tech from Packer’s precious ACC off the bubble.
Get the press ready, T-shirts are ready to be produced.

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