Answers to sports’ most puzzling questions
With Sports Editor Alan Stewart still recouping from a recent vacation, he bequeathed column-writing duties to his 3-year-old daughter, Marcie, for this week.
Marcie’s well-schooled on subjects such as hair dressing, Dora The Explorer and taking care of a baby sister, but she’s also fairly insightful on athletic competition. With help in the spelling department, she raided her daddy’s overstuffed e-mail box to offer her take on the wide world of sports:
Q ‘ So is North Harrison’s football team for real?
‘ Reed from Brownstown
A ‘ Daddy says North Harrison and is good and may be better if they can put Band-Aids on their boo-boos. They’ve played cupcakes (I do like cupcakes) until now but the next four games (I like games, too) will be better tests on where the team is. I heard Daddy say North has destiny (Is destiny like Play-Doh?) in its own hands since Salem beat Brownstown last week. Um, and I like the color blue like North Harrison wears. So, I like them.
Q ‘ Corydon football is 0-5. Will they win a game this year?
‘Jason from Corydon
A ‘ I can count, but I can’t add. But my teacher at daycare told me the first five teams the Monsters (that’s what I think the mascot on the press box looks like) faced were a combined 16-6. The next four teams are 7-13 (and one team has four of those wins). I know I’m only three, but I know the difference between good teams and bad ones. I’ll bet my favorite Dora The Explorer movie and some chicken, fry fries and ketchup that Corydon wins at least one game before the playoffs.
Q ‘ Can you believe Louisville’s football team is ranked No. 9 in the nation? Or that IU is undefeated through three games?
‘Rich from Lexington
A ‘ Daddy says Louisville’s schedule is full of cupcakes, and I do like cupcakes. Daddy says Louisville will probably win every game (did I mention I do like games?) this season and play in a Jan. 1 bowl game. He’s been sad because Michigan lost to Notre Dame and fell in the polls, so now all of the Louisville fans are getting on him about being ranked higher. That doesn’t make me happy.
Indiana is undefeated and has the same number of wins (3) as my age. That’s funny. I don’t need daddy to tell me why they are undefeated: cupcakes. I do really like cupcakes. Indiana will come back to earth soon when they run out of cupcakes.
Q ‘ Who will win NASCAR’s Chase For The Cup?
‘ Jeff from Pittsboro
A ‘ Did you know my last name is the same as the guy daddy thinks will win? Tony Stewart’s car is orange, and I do like orange sprinkles on my ice cream, so that’s who will win. And I don’t like Wobby Gordon. He’s bad and needs to sit in a corner for saying a bad word on television and throwing his hat at Michael Waltrip’s car. You don’t throw things, and you don’t play in the street with cars around. That’s bad. Him’s bad. Very, very bad.
Q ‘ Is this the Colts’ year? Tony from Indianapolis
A ‘ Judging by the past two weeks, My Little Pony has a better shot of winning the Super Bowl. My pre-school class has as many touchdowns as Brandon Stokley, Reggie Wayne and Edgerrin James combined in the first two weeks of the season. That’s not good. I think the Colts need cupcakes, and they’ll get some over the next few weeks. I do hope they share their cupcakes with me.