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Your car runneth over me, almost

A little less than a year ago I wrote about Harrison County historian Frederick P. Griffin ‘ 88 and selflessly devoted to the genealogy of all ‘ being savaged by a pickup while attempting to cross the street.
Not even a month ago I penned a paragraph about a young couple who were frolicking in Light Up Corydon glee when they were slammed to the cold, hard, unforgiving asphalt by a rusty pickup.
A week ago I was formulating in my head the work that would make me a Nobel laureate when I jumped out of the way of a truck, saved only by my lithe gait. My concentration and poetry did not survive.
Each incident took place at the same intersection, and all of us were using crosswalks.
Considering that everyone isn’t as tough as Griffin, the couple (I believe they introduced themselves as Mr. and Mrs. Incredible) and I (I go to the YMCA), it seems someone could get seriously hurt.
When we went to Walnut Street and Capitol Avenue, we weren’t just at an intersection, we were at a crossroads.
Will Corydon be a tourist destination that people can visit and live to tell the tale? Or are we bussing in elderly tourists just so we can corral them into our crosswalks and smush them, sending them home in a casket with some Cousin Willie’s popcorn?
In all fairness, the law does state, ‘No pedestrian shall suddenly leave a curb or other place of safety and walk or run into the path of a vehicle which is so close that it is impossible for the driver to yield.’
In other words, it isn’t lawful to make people run over you. Doing so could result in a fine and/or jail time.
One law drivers may be surprised to know is that they are required to stop at a red light. Without exception.
Believe it or not, there is no subparagraph that says that drivers should accelerate rapidly if the light just turned red. And there’s no subsection that says that those turning right on red need only yield.
Drivers must always come to a complete stop and check that the way is clear before making a right turn on a red light. Seriously. That’s ‘complete’ stop.
Pedestrians statistically most likely to be smushed include little kids in residential areas, drunk people near the bar, and elderly people in crosswalks.
Some Canadian said, ‘The ‘turn right on red’ rule was introduced as a petrol-saving measure in the 1970s,’ and he didn’t say anything about running over seniors.
And those turning right on green would do well to remember that pedestrians are also getting a ‘walk’ signal at the same time.
Pedestrian deaths have been declining steadily, but only because people hate to walk anywhere, so they don’t, and emergency medical services are better at patching-up potential road kills.
However, those crosswalk Charlie Bronsons shouldn’t abuse their right-of-way. Pedestrian injuries are 20 to 30 times more deadly than other injuries. So it’s best not to take chances with a one-ton car that has better traction than socks (which is all you’ll be wearing if hit) and absolutely no pain receptors.
Happy crosswalking.