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‘Duck! Duck, geese!’

There’s a major problem at Buffalo Trace Park near Palmyra. Wildlife have laid siege to park grounds. There are fish in the lake, birds in the skies, and critters are roaming the countryside with impunity.
It’s like Mother Nature thinks she owns the place.
It appears loss of habitat has caused these animals to wander into the lakes where we swim, the trails we hike, and skies in which we fly kites. There are even stories of ants crashing picnics.
One has to wonder what kind of mismanagement led to nature’s insurrection at Buffalo Trace. Have Claudia Howard, the park department director, and Herb Schneider, manager of Buffalo Trace, been too soft on vertebrates?
Even now, Schneider says the two don’t support a ‘goose shoot’ to eliminate the gaggle defiling the scenic beauty of the park.
It appears the geese have been insolently answering the call of nature, contrary to the dictum ‘take nothing but a picture; leave nothing but a web print,’ and desecrating this natural setting.
There are appropriate places to answer nature’s call, and nature isn’t one of them.
Some argue geese lack the dexterity and opposable thumbs necessary to operate modern sanitation facilities. Lucy Goose knows how to play poker. It’s safe to assume she’s familiar with a straight flush.
Besides, geese have foul tempers, and it’s really not pigeonholing them to say that.
Buffalo Trace Park began to address the fish issue when one bag too many of a chemical was put into the lake to kill the algae and killed a reported more than 500 fish. Unfortunately, thousands of fish remain in the lake.
However, this fortuitous discovery may remedy the problem. A few more bags of that and maybe we can liberate the lake and reclaim it for humanity.
And while we are addressing the pitfalls of nature …
We never had all these hurricanes and tropical depressions when Clinton was president. Personally, I’m not overly impressed with Kerry, but he’s not Bush. Who wants to vote for four more years of hurricanes?
In conclusion, shooting geese because they poop on your park sounds pretty silly because it is a pretty silly idea.

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